I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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