it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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