Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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