So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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