WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It's never too late to be topless.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
