Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
