He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize