Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
