i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
