dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
