I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
