there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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