the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
