so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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