why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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