and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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