East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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