3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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