Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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