Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize