my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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