so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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