i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
