So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
