You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
