We won't sleep together?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
