A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
