That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I am naked and annoyed.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
