To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize