They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
