we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
