Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
