its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The police scanner is talking about you again....
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
