Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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