I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
