Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Mom said you looked used
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
