If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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