I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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