i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
All the doctor said was why
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
