I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
