You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
