1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Your topless pictures make me question reality
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
