wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
