dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize