too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
