omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
