I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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