Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Cover your peen. We're going out.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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