I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
