her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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