great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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