Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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