remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
