It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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