gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
