I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
