Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
