i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
