"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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