If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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