am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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