Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
How does one acquire holy water?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
