Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
