I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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