I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
