I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
