I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
