my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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