dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
