he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize