Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
