Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
